I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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