It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
