wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
