well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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