I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
