Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
