I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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