I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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