Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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