Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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