please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
