Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
