I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
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im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
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What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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