so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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