Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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