Screwed.edu
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
