your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i out mim tonsoeep
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