Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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