Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
