is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
