At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
