Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
