he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
