You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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