I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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