Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
