connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
