Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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