i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
So much rum. So many feels.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
