Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
why do cheetos always look like penises
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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