dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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