ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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