she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
