It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
