yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
