Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
