dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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