I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize