I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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