great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
