please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
