May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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