Non-Jews are for practice
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
