how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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