Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
