Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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