KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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