You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
