Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
