You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
