There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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