Apparently you make a good broom.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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