My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
