I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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