Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
