Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
