It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
