is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
too bad you live with your parents still
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize