You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
