holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
