we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
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