I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
