This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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