Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
