I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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